Games for Lunch: Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots

(Page 3 of 4)

0:30 Surrounded now by two Gekkos, Snake uses his super-camouflage suit to blend in with the wall. One of the Gekkos picks up the cigarette Snake dropped. "Invalid target," reads a message on the Gekko's internal screen. My first smile. One of the Gekkos crushes a box that reads "No Place for Hideo." It was filled with watermelons.

0:31 The Gekkos jump off looking for the next target. I know Snake's camo suit is good, but are you telling me these things don't have heat sensors? The field is quiet now, as some spare guitar pipes in. "METAL GEAR SOLID 4," the screen blares, just in case you didn't know what game you were playing. The credits are STILL going.

0:32 Snake jumps down, spies a gun, and lifts it up gingerly. He checks the bullets, cocks it, stares at the rooftops. The game asks if I want to save. Save what? Nothing has happened!

0:34 "Three days earlier," and we're back at that grave site. It was Snake standing there, saluting someone. I can hit the X button to get a flashback to Snake from the original Metal Gear Solid. Otacon flies in by helicopter. "Snake, we've got to go.... you've got an old friend waiting for you," he says. Some blather about test results. "Your early aging symptoms look like classic Werner's syndrome," but they can't figure out the cause. "So?" asks Snake, "A year at best, right?" "Yeah..." says Otacon, ruefully. The voice acting is uniformly excellent, as always for this series.

0:37 Colonel Campbell is on the chopper. He looks older in a suit. "I figured the only place I'd see you dressed like that is at your daughter's wedding," says Snake. Yeah, right, like Campbell would invite Snake to a wedding. He would just end up sneaking around and shooting guests. Anyway, Campbell is working for a UN Security council group that oversees PMCs. "I came across some information in my work. We found him... in the Middle East." They must be talking about Liquid Ocelot, right? "Liquid's made his move," Otacon confirms. "We've found him." He's lying in wait, preparing to launch an insurrection. "Track. Him. Down," Campbell says, ultra-seriously.

0:40 Fade to black, and another loading screen. Then a shot of a frying pan with a girl cracking eggs. "Only two eggs today? Solidus must be taking a day off." She recites a series of random numbers in a sing-song voice. Huh? "Act 1: Liquid Sun."

0:41 Back to the battlefield, Snake gets a Codec call. I see Otacon in full-color video -- nice! "This place is crawling with lizards," Snake says. I try to pause so I can type some more notes, but it skips the Codec scene instead. Whoops.

0:44 In control now, playing around with the controls. I duck into a dumpster and hear the sounds of flies buzzing in the darkness. Heh. Now Snake's a dirty old man.

0:45 "Avoid unnecessary combat whenever possible," says Otacon. Words to live by.

0:47 Crap, a fighter hears my footsteps as I try to make my way to the next CSAP. They radio in for reinforcements. I scurry off to hide in a building.

0:48 The fighters swarm into my hidey-hole and I find I can't fire my weapon. The R1 button just makes me punch. HALP!