Developer: Stainless Games

Publisher: Atari

Release Date: Nov. 20, 2007

System: PSP

ESRB Rating: E

Official Web site

0:00 I think I've played most of these arcade "classics" at some point during my Chuck E. Cheese-saturated youth, so I'm looking forward to a portable, nostalgic romp. Already, I'm enamored by the clear case that surrounds the UMD disc.

0:01 Nice, simple menu design. First up is Battlezone, which I actually haven't played in the arcades. The game's already making a liar out of me!

0:03 I'm navigating a green field from a first-person perspective. There are some occasional holographic green obstacles, but the field is pretty empty. My vehicle handles like a tank, which I suppose is appropriate.

0:04 In addition to the radar, the HUD tells me when there's an "enemy in front" or an "enemy to right," etc. Good thing, because it's hard to tell the enemy tanks from the regular obstacles.

0:05 The game seems to be sending only one tank at a time, and if they end up behind me, I'm toast. This may have seemed revolutionary when it first came out, but now it just seems kind of dull. I do like the updated techno soundtrack, though.

0:06 There are 11 games to get through, so I've got to keep moving. Millipede is up next. I predict I'm going to miss the arcade game's trackball.

0:07 Turning the system 90 degrees makes the PSP's widescreen replicate the tall displays from the arcade cabinet. A very nice touch, though the system is kind of awkward to hold this way.

0:08 I just remembered something -- I really suck at Millipede! I lose all my lives in about a minute! Let's try that again.

0:10 I buckle down and last an entire TWO minutes this time! The spiders and ladybugs keep getting me from behind while I focus on the encroaching millipede. How sad is it that I can't survive more than two minutes at a game this old? I know they were designed to keep munching quarters, but still, I'm supposed to be a professional!

0:11 Warlords is up next. Think four-player Pong meets Breakout.

0:14 Loving the bright, psychedelic graphics and the driving backbeat. I'm not a great Warlords player, but the computer is even worse in Wave 1.

0:17 I manage to take out two players single-handedly in Wave 2, which leaves the remaining player practically undamaged and free to take me out. This game has aged quite well -- good, fast-paced action. I earned an "award" for having four balls of my color in play. Everybody wants to be Xbox Live's Achievements these days.

0:18 Pong is next. Yes, they're still re-releasing Pong roughly a million years after it first came out.

0:19 Cute -- I can change the graphical theme between a ping-pong table, a pinball table or an air-hockey table. There's also a Tron-style version of the original game.

0:20 Starting off with air hockey, complete with appropriate sound effects! It's a little odd not being able to move my paddle forward or backward, as I would on an air hockey table. I win 11-2, but I barely have to hit the puck because the computer misses even the starting serve.

0:22 Cool, it seems I can change the graphical theme midway through. The paddles seem too small in ping pong, but I like the look and feel of the pinball stage a lot.

0:24 After being down 10-6, I come back to win the second game 11-10. The computer got a lot better really quickly.

0:25 Asteroids is next up. One of my favorite classic games of all time!

0:26 The "enhanced" Asteroids update ruins a lot of the things that made the original great. Here the edges of the 'roids are horribly fuzzy and the flashy explosions obscure the paths of the new rocks. I think I'll switch over to the "classic" version.

0:28 That's better. Now I can see what's going on. There's not even any load time for the classic edition! I still have to squint to see the smallest asteroids on the small screen, though. This game was not designed for portables.

0:31 Lose track of time a bit as I go for a high score. The little spaceship eventually does me in.

0:32 I skip Centipede for now, since I know it's almost an exact copy of Millipede. On to Super Breakout, which is almost exactly like Pong, but still!

0:33 Was the Breakout paddle always this small? It's incredibly tough to catch the bouncing ball on this tiny thing. The lights and sound effects are pretty distracting, too.

0:34 I've already lost all five or six lives I had. The controls are a little too slippery for my tastes, and the ball zips way too fast. Give me Arkanoid any day.

0:35 Missile Command is on deck. I know this game isn't going to be the same without a trackball.

0:37 Instead of missiles, the towers now shoot some sort of crackling electrical weapon. The "updated" graphics make it hard to follow the chain-reaction explosions, which was key in the original. Bleh. Moving on to "classic" mode.

0:40 The analog nub actually does a decent job of replicating the trackball, after a quick sensitivity adjustment. I might play this a bit more.

0:41 Lunar Lander! I had a copy of this on my dad's old 8088 computer!

0:42 I start off at "training" difficulty. The updated HUD does a great job displaying my altitude, fuel level and current direction/speed. It even automatically zooms the camera in as I get close to my landing zone. Loving it!

0:45 I'm moving through the stages pretty easily, but I'm using way too much fuel. Better to be gas-guzzling and safe than eco-friendly and dead, that's what I always say. And so does Hummer!

0:47 I finally run out of fuel, resulting in a spectacular crash. That was a lot of fun!

0:48 I feel safe skipping Asteroids Deluxe for now, and the Atari 2600 is locked (I need to get more awards) so corridor-shooter Tempest is up next.

0:49 This "evolved" remake feels remarkably similar to the original game, just with updated colors. I guess the original was ahead of its time.

0:50 I just remembered I'm really bad at Tempest, too. It's pretty hard to see the guys at the end of the corridor on the tiny screen. Oh, well. I was never a huge fan anyway.

0:51 I've played everything else, so I guess I'll go back and give Centipede a go.

0:53 Well what a shocker, it's just like Millipede! Maybe diehards could tell you the differences, but I can't. The damn spider gets me again and again!

0:56 Asteroids Deluxe is very similar to Asteroids! At least there are some noticeable improvements, such as a shield function and a new enemy that actually homes in on my position. There are those annoying explosions again.

0:59 I finish up my hour with some more Lunar Lander. Maybe I was an astronaut in a previous life, but I really, really like this game.

1:08 Still playing Lunar Lander. I just discovered I can use the analog nub for more precise thrusting and turning. Whoa!

Would I play this game for more than an hour? Yes.


Why? Warlords, Asteroids and Lunar Lander, primarily.



This column was based on a retail copy of the game rented from GameFly.

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