Developer: Atomic Planet Entertainment

Publisher: Atari

Release Date: Dec. 7, 2007

System: Wii

ESRB Rating: E

Official Web site

0:00 I've heard pretty bad things about this one, but I just had to see for myself how Atari could mess up a concept as great as moving Jenga blocks with the Wii remote.

0:01 "Jenga: Edge-of-your-seat fun! There is only one Jenga!" brags the introductory animation. The game tells me I need to plug in a Nunchuk. Really? Somehow the real version got by with one-handed controls.

0:02 The word "Jenga" bounces hypnotically on a title screen with undulating colored blocks at the edges and a scrolling, blue, Jenga-filled background. A weird techno-synth-pop background plays. Whoa! Trippy!

0:03 On to the tutorial. "Study this carefully and you should have everything you need to become a great Jenga player!" Should? What if I don't? What then? WHAT THEN?!

0:04 For those who don't know, Jenga involves taking blocks from the middle of a wooden tower and placing them on the top without toppling them over. Also, you should really get out of the house more.

0:05 An announcer that is entirely too chipper explains in excruciating detail how I can move the camera around with the control stick. As I do this, a perky woman tells me "Good job!" I can already tell these voices are going to make me want to rip my ears off.

0:06 Tapping the B button while pointing taps the loose blocks out of position. Which block is loose is indicated by a bright green border when I point to it. That was simple!

0:07 I'm introduced to grabbing, which is the opposite of tapping -- hit the A button and pull the Wii remote backwards. Couldn't be simpler.

0:09 This is possibly the most condescending tutorial I've ever played. They're using whole doctoral theses to explain concepts that most people would understand in ten words. I wish I could type fast enough to capture the ridiculousness.

0:11 When I'm pulling tough blocks, I can "pin" two adjacent block to prevent them from moving. That's funny, I don't remember being able to do that in the real game. Is this a concession to the inaccuracies of the Wii remote? Also, am I detecting some graphical slowdown when I slightly shift the tower? Is Jenga too complex for the Wii? Really?

0:13 Tutorial done, I select World Tour mode because I just have to see how they made a story mode out of FREAKIN' JENGA! My selectable characters include a snowman, a woman astronaut, and a parrot. None of them have names or characteristics or anything, they're just generic pictures. I choose the parrot. My first challenge is set in "U.S.A. Present Day." That's intriguing. Will I be going back in time later?

0:14 "It's time to play Jenga!" says the perky female voice. At this point I should mention the fully 3-D rendered living room that shares the screen with the blocks themselves. It comes complete with a moving basset hound, art deco chairs, aquarium and view of the city skyline. The synth-pop music has only gotten more ludicrous here, too.

0:15 After I make my first move, the computer moves so quickly that I can't see what he did. His pointer just flies off screen and then picks out a block. The camera doesn't move along with him. This is bad game design 101 here.

0:17 That was fast. On my second move, I lose while trying to place a block atop the tower. It bumps into another block and sends everything flying, as I see over and over in a slow-motion replay. I don't think I'd make this mistake in real life, but with these somewhat frustrating controls, it's easy!

0:20 In the rematch, the computer opponent makes an equally ridiculous mistake on his first ever move, knocking a single block on the top row off with a ridiculous sweeping gesture. Is this the designers' idea of letting me win? If so, I'm not impressed. "A new unlock is available," says the female voice, without bothering to tell me what that unlock actually is.

0:21 Match #2 is in China, 785 C.E. I KNEW IT! Time traveling + Jenga = WIN! "If a block is covered in thick vines, you'll have to ignore it and pick another one instead." Wow! This is taking Jenga to new and crazy directions, all right! What's next, an ice level where blocks are frozen in place? By ice? Ooh, I can't wait.

0:26 I'm starting to get the hang of using the in and out motions of the remote to tap out the loose blocks. It doesn't require all that steady a hand, just a simple flick of the wrist, really.

0:29 If I hear one of these voices say "Over to the next player" or "And the next competitor please" again I am going to KILL SOMEONE!

0:31 It's getting a little hairy now, with a 24-block-high tower and no more "loose" blocks.

0:33 The computer uses an interesting strategy of sliding two blocks out slightly to make a sort of pyramid, then sliding out the newly loose block in the middle. Is this supposed to be the beginner difficulty? Because I'm not nearly that good.

0:34 "It's all over... watch out for the falling blocks." I'm too cavalier on a routine grab and tap near the top of the tower -- apparently this is where the steady hands come in. The prospect of starting again is not filling me with joy and hope.

0:35 Oh, thank the lord, I find the options screen from the main menu and turn off the voices! I also turn off the increasingly grating synth-pop music. Maybe now I'll be able to concentrate on those blocks.

0:38 Note to Wii developers: Requiring lots of in-and-out motions is not the way to endear yourselves to players. My arm is actually tiring from hovering in midair for too long. Why I can't just sidle left and right I'll never know.

0:39 Without the tactile feedback of actually feeling the blocks, the game is pretty much a matter of picking the green one and flicking it out. Not exactly engaging.

0:44 Only one green block left, and it's frustratingly stuck. It won't budge at all, but once I pin the blocks next to it, it slides out easily. This screams bad design to me.

0:46 With only red blocks left, the computer takes 30 whole seconds to decide on its move. OMG, DRAMA!

0:47 ARGH! I lose again, this time because the game refuses to correctly orient my block before I drop it on top. There's no excuse for this, as far as I'm concerned.

1:00 The last 13 minutes continue as interminably and frustratingly as the first 47. Let's leave it at that.

Would I play this game for more than an hour? No.

Why? The real life version of the game is better, and I don't even want to play that too much.

This review was based on a retail copy of the game rented from GameFly.