Games for Lunch: Jenga World Tour

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0:17 That was fast. On my second move, I lose while trying to place a block atop the tower. It bumps into another block and sends everything flying, as I see over and over in a slow-motion replay. I don't think I'd make this mistake in real life, but with these somewhat frustrating controls, it's easy!

0:20 In the rematch, the computer opponent makes an equally ridiculous mistake on his first ever move, knocking a single block on the top row off with a ridiculous sweeping gesture. Is this the designers' idea of letting me win? If so, I'm not impressed. "A new unlock is available," says the female voice, without bothering to tell me what that unlock actually is.

0:21 Match #2 is in China, 785 C.E. I KNEW IT! Time traveling + Jenga = WIN! "If a block is covered in thick vines, you'll have to ignore it and pick another one instead." Wow! This is taking Jenga to new and crazy directions, all right! What's next, an ice level where blocks are frozen in place? By ice? Ooh, I can't wait.

0:26 I'm starting to get the hang of using the in and out motions of the remote to tap out the loose blocks. It doesn't require all that steady a hand, just a simple flick of the wrist, really.

0:29 If I hear one of these voices say "Over to the next player" or "And the next competitor please" again I am going to KILL SOMEONE!

0:31 It's getting a little hairy now, with a 24-block-high tower and no more "loose" blocks.

0:33 The computer uses an interesting strategy of sliding two blocks out slightly to make a sort of pyramid, then sliding out the newly loose block in the middle. Is this supposed to be the beginner difficulty? Because I'm not nearly that good.

0:34 "It's all over... watch out for the falling blocks." I'm too cavalier on a routine grab and tap near the top of the tower -- apparently this is where the steady hands come in. The prospect of starting again is not filling me with joy and hope.

0:35 Oh, thank the lord, I find the options screen from the main menu and turn off the voices! I also turn off the increasingly grating synth-pop music. Maybe now I'll be able to concentrate on those blocks.

0:38 Note to Wii developers: Requiring lots of in-and-out motions is not the way to endear yourselves to players. My arm is actually tiring from hovering in midair for too long. Why I can't just sidle left and right I'll never know.

0:39 Without the tactile feedback of actually feeling the blocks, the game is pretty much a matter of picking the green one and flicking it out. Not exactly engaging.

0:44 Only one green block left, and it's frustratingly stuck. It won't budge at all, but once I pin the blocks next to it, it slides out easily. This screams bad design to me.

0:46 With only red blocks left, the computer takes 30 whole seconds to decide on its move. OMG, DRAMA!

0:47 ARGH! I lose again, this time because the game refuses to correctly orient my block before I drop it on top. There's no excuse for this, as far as I'm concerned.