GamerParenting: Grand Theft Auto IV

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Then there's the violence. You can take out entire packs of pedestrians and then stop to admire the bloodstains on your car. Make mayhem, kill cops, and take on the army if you like. The game's missions revolve around drug sales, assassinations and beating people up with baseball bats. It's brutal.

The writing is incredibly high-quality and the HD graphics take the Grand Theft Auto violence to the next level and beyond -- making for the most beautiful carnage and violence ever made interactive. Drugs figure into the game -- buying selling and using. There's very little in the game that promotes goodness, kindness or lawfulness. You really can't choose to be good. It's a sandbox, but a bloody one.

The subject matter is undeniably mature, and that's why I will not encourage parents to bend the rules, end the argument, and let their kids have GTA IV. The game is mature, the satire is out of a teen's reach, and because of that, all that remains is interactive killing, maiming and destruction. GTA IV is a masterpiece, but without the adult context, it's just a series of ugly interactions that celebrates lawlessness. No, it won't turn kids into monsters -- it may not even give them nightmares -- but responsible parenting means protecting your teens as long as you can.

There's nothing wrong with GTA IV, but it shouldn't be played by kids under 17. There are plenty of T-rated games and a few mild M-rated games from which to choose. Save GTA IV for them. Save it in the same place you keep "Pulp Fiction," "Scarface" and "Bad Lieutenant."

And if they play the game at a friend's house?

Well, you'd better just expect that to happen. Just don't blame me. I wouldn't help them out.

No matter how many times they asked me.