Games for Lunch: Devil May Cry 4

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0:14 Some of the hooded guys draw swords and attack Dante, but he takes them out with his usual panache. Nero and singer girl run off and her present gets trampled in the fleeing. More beautiful destruction as Dante decimates the guards. Singer girl goes back to protect a guard and gets knocked over. Dante looks at her funny and Nero runs in and TOTALLY KICKS HIM IN THE FACE. YEAH! An epic battle of the red-caped guys ensues. They end up in a Mexican stand-off. The head guard goes off to get help. "I won't hold my breath," says Nero. Jumping, flinging, destroying priceless cement statues, flipping, running up a giant sword, etc. Wow...

0:16 Apparently the Automatic mode I chose lets me pull off complicated combos just by repeatedly pressing a single attack button. Sweet. The game tells me this as I begin "Mission 01: Birds of a Feather."

0:18 The game commences an extremely slow-paced tutorial based around the battle between Nero (my guy) and Dante (the bad guy?). I have to repeat each new move three times to prove I know how to do it. I much preferred the fast-paced tutorial in DMC3, which just threw you into a fast-paced battle and told you how to do stuff.

0:20 I'm forced to skip a cut scene when I get a phone call. I'll just assume there was some cool posing and posturing amid a hard-fought battle.

0:22 More tutorial, then yet another cut scene. Nero blocks a sword strike with his cast. OW! But the cast is actually a gauntlet that seems to absorb the energy from the blow. Nero ends up picking up a chunk of cement and throwing it at Dante.

0:23 The Buster move lets me "grab an enemy with the Devil Bringer and toss them away like a cheap toy." Evocative and accurate.

0:24 More cut scene battling... Nero throws Dante through a few rows of church seats. "So you're looking to play huh? All right... I've got some time to kill," Dante looks a lot older than he did in DMC3, which I guess makes sense if it's 2,000 years later. "Looks like I'll have to take you down a couple notches," says Nero. "Whatever you say kid," Dante retorts.

0:25 My first non-tutorial battle. Dante doesn't put up much of a fight as I pummel him relentlessly. The controls feel a little more sluggish than they did in DMC3, and my bullets don't seem nearly as effective or impactful.

0:26 Oh, goody, another cut scene. Lots of face-punching by Nero, then a throw into a statue and Dante gets impaled by a sword. "Getting better. I would even go as far as to say that I underestimated your abilities," He says as he pulls the sword out. "You aren't human are you?" NO SHIT SHERLOCK! Dante runs off with a cryptic statement about Nero being different. Seems the preacher wasn't human, either. "Adios, kid." I get a B ranking and a "proud soul" that will help me acquire new skills. Groovy.

0:30 Yet more cut scenes... shots of the devastated church... the head guard surveys the damage. Singer girl hauls in a case. "Credo requested," she says. "She yearns for your touch." Dirty! I bet she's not the only one, eh? Credo is a sword, by the way. "You must capture him," says Uptight McSourPuss (a.k.a. the head guard). Nero and singer girl share a tender moment when the ground begins to rumble... more loading.