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0:54 "Press A to buy pants. Press LB to leave pants." This simple directive cracks me up for some reason. Maybe because it's 2:30 in the morning.
0:56 I buy some jeans and a mustard-yellow jacket that wouldn't look out of place on a homeless person. Just as I begin to wonder what in the world to do next, Michelle calls up and inexplicably asks me on a date. Do all immigrants have it this easy fresh off the boat? Hey, potential immigrants, come to America! Women will ask you out almost immediately!
0:58 Just as I'm about to pick up Michelle, Roman calls and tells me he's in trouble again. Hmm, do I go on my date or save my piece of shit cousin? Decisions, decisions.
0:59 So Michelle answers the door as she's finishing her hair. Niko notices all her stuff is new. She's obsessed with cleanliness. "OCD or something?" I guess beggars can't be choosers. Niko suggests going to the "funfair." Michelle correctly tells him it's called a "carnival" here. She seems less than enthused at the notion. Me, I'm just looking forward to that basketball game!
1:03 The car ride to the funfair is notable for its brief, awkward conversation and then an almost deafening silence. She doesn't even exclaim when I crash the car into yet another lamppost. Is she on Valium or something?
1:04 I purposely went over my allotted time just so I'd be able to tell you about that basketball game at the funfair, but I find out from Michelle that the thing is closed this time of year. There's a bowling alley open. I'll go reluctantly, but I'll do it off the clock, if you don't mind.
Would I play this game for more than an hour? Yes.
Why? I love the dialogue, and I can't wait to see how the game will open up once I work my way out of the tutorial slog.
This column was based on a retail copy purchased by the writer.
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