Games for Lunch: Endless Ocean
In a nutshell: Relax Relax Revolution.
4/14/2008 2:22 PM | 0 Comments | Page 1 of 3
Developer: Arika
Publisher: Nintendo
Release Date: Jan. 28, 2008
System: Wii
ESRB Rating: E
Official Web site
0:00 I'm a little worried that an hour won't be enough to encapsulate a game with "Endless" in the title. I'm even more afraid that it will be more than enough time.
0:01 An ethereal, a capella harmony sings out over a tranquil picture of a sailboat: "Let your arms enfold us. Through the dark of night. Will your angels hold us 'til we see the light?" I have no idea what that means, but I already feel relaxed.
0:02 I took too long typing, so the game went into attract mode, showing some pastoral underwater scenes. More singing, too: "Hush, lay down your troubled mind. The day has vanished and left us behind." I could listen to this all day.
0:03 "Well g'day there!" The Manoa Lai Oceanic Research Society welcomes me. I pick my name, gender and, uh, tan level. The choices for hairstyle are "Mild" and "Wild!" Neither is very accurate to my actual hairstyle, which I'd rate as "Child!"
0:06 Katherine "Kat" Sunday is my in-ear diving instructor as I make my first dive. Turning is as simple as pointing at the edges of the screen. "Do you turn around a lot? Because you're a pro! Ha ha ha!" Oh Kat. You ham.
0:07 I swim East a bit and am rewarded with a beautiful view of a lagoon. Some nice rock formation spires here. Truly impressive, especially for the Wii.
0:09 And I'm back on my boat, the "Gabbiano." Kat and I stand awkwardly on deck, and it gets even more awkward when she says it gets "lonely" and that it's "nice to have company." Er... that's nice, Kat.
0:10 So my job is basically to protect fish by diving whenever and wherever I want. Hey, I'm not arguing. "I think I'd go crazy if I had to work in an office." Amen, Kat.
0:11 Clicking on a deck chair activates "Gaze at the Ocean" mode. It's much better than the same mode in
Halo 3 and
Super Smash Bros. Brawl. What? Those games don't have a "Gaze at the Ocean" mode? That's because they are AWFUL!
0:12 You can play your own MP3s from an SD card. I'm tempted to load up some Metallica and crank it over the pastoral ocean scenes. ROCK!
0:14 Financier Alfred Forman wants me to do a topographical survey of some place. Hey man, I'm my own man, man. I do what I want, man. "There's no hurry on this." Pfft, whatever.
0:16 Kat reveals that, despite being a marine biologist, she doesn't know how to swim. PLOT TWIST!
0:19 All right! I get to hear that ethereal intro music again during my second dive! Ahhhh. The stress, she melts away.
0:20 So the first time I examine a fish (by clicking on it with the A button), I don't know anything about it, but then I pet it a few times and can identify it as a Blue Tang. I have no idea how that's supposed to make sense.
0:22 I make it to the Coral Forest just in time for a dolphin to swim around me like a chicken with its head cut off. Kat thinks he was playing a prank on me. Whatever. Real pranks involve whoopee cushions.
