Games for Lunch: Assassin's Creed

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0:21 I jump right into a confusing scene where a few other assassins and I are killing an innocent for some reason. They tell me I'm breaking "the creed" but I tell them that isn't important, that we can do what we want in our quest for treasure under the temple mount. Looks like my character's gonna be the "bad boy" of the assassin world.

0:24 Believe it or not, I'm already stuck. I'm in a very dark cave and I don't know where to go. The radar is indecipherable.

0:25 I turn up the brightness in the options and now I can see where to go. The game automatically jumps me across thin beams as I run towards them. Pretty cool.

0:26 We find the Ark of the Covenant (that was fast) but some French guy wants to take it, too. The other assassins and I have an academic debate about whether or not we should kill these guys to get the treasure. I try to pay attention, but my character's voice acting is so horrendously bad that I have a hard time taking the whole thing seriously.

0:29 So we decide to assassinate the French guy, but as I try, he stops me and sends me through a wooden wall with a message for my master: The holy land is theirs. The whole scene comes off a little overwrought.

0:30 Even though the French guy let me live, I hear, "Men, to arms! Kill the assassins!" So does he want me to live or not? Oy!

0:32 After a quick "Intro to wall-climbing," section, the computer snaps me ahead to a "more recent memory." I have to deliver my message to the "master" in the tower.

0:33 Just for giggles, on the way to the tower I assassinate a random civilian in broad daylight on a busy path. People stare at me as I do the deed, but they keep walking initially. It takes five seconds or so for the citizens/soldiers to notice and for the alarm to be sounded. By that time, I'm a good 10 meters down the road and out of harm's way. The much-ballyhooed crowd dynamics aren't wowing me yet.

0:36 "Best hurry. I'm sure you'll want to put your tongue to his boot," my brother says as I get to the tower. The other characters get great voice acting and animation. My character sounds like he's reading the nightly news.

0:38 I tell the master that my mission failed. He's understandably upset. His eyes are dead and creepy. One of the assassins I left behind limps in and talks of his dead brother and my arrogance. He found the treasure while I ran away. This looks bad for me. Just in time, word comes that the city is being invaded and I have to help out. Hooray for plot points!

0:42 My combat strategy so far: Jam the X button. It works pretty well.

0:44 Whoops. While trying to kill a guard, I accidentally kill a fleeing civilian. It's not my fault -- they're freaking EVERYWHERE and jump right into our fight paths. Ugh. Also, I've found a new, more efficient mode of attack -- throw them with B, then stabby stabby.

0:45 Not that I mind finally having some action, but after all the setup for stealth and such, it's a little odd to fall straight into a balls-out melee.