GamerParenting: Ridin' Fences

4/4/2008 11:59 AM | 2 Comments | Page 1 of 2

At GamerDad.com we've always tried to "go beyond the ESRB" -- meaning, we review a game and then break down the ESRB ratings descriptors to try and figure out, and tell parents, what "Mild Sexual Content" or "Cartoon Violence" actually means in the context of this particular game. In Mass Effect it means a fairly chaste love scene involving an alien (if you want) or even an alien of the same gender. (Is it homosexuality if the species are different? Do I want to know the answer to that question?) We figured parents needed to know this stuff and there just isn't room on the back of a game box for the ESRB to make lists of specific content. Good ideas get copied, so I wasn't surprised when Common Sense Media launched and started doing the same thing.

So you might say, for the past five years I've been judging the ESRB judges -- trying to pierce the veil of secrecy to figure out what the heck in Halo 3 merits an M rating (it appears to mainly hinge on the horrific Flood, if you're curious), or why Call of Duty 4 is rated Mature while the first three were rated Teen (it could be the modern setting or it could be the missions based on reality, like the one where you drop ordinance on little green and white people from above), or why Super Smash Bros. Brawl is rated Teen -- and not E10+. Wouldn't you think E10+ was created just for games like Super Smash Bros. Brawl? Well I sure would, and I'm supposed to be an expert!

So why does this happen? Actually it's amazing it doesn't happen more often. The ESRB is shrouded in secrecy but it's also remarkably consistent. In five years and about 1,200 game reviews at GamerDad, I've disagreed with their rating only four times:

1. I think Halo, Halo 2 and Halo 3 should be rated T-Teen. Here's why.

2. I thought Oblivion should have been rated M even before that stupid nude patch controversy started.

3. Super Smash Bros. Brawl should be E-10.

4. I think Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas should have STAYED M despite the "Hot Coffee" controversy. I won't rehash that nightmare but even if that hidden (orphaned) code wasn't hidden, that sex game was pretty inoffensive and I think the fact that the game had a "Strong Sexual Content" descriptor meant that content was covered. The ESRB did have the right to punish Rockstar for making them look foolish, but the AO retail kiss of death was a bad compromise if you ask me.

Four times (five if you allow that Halo 2 was released during this period) out of 1,200 reviews. It sounds like the ESRB does a good and very consistent job overall, doesn't it?

For conscientious parents -- and all of you are conscientious parents, right? -- these are the games in question. These are the games that give us fits. See, Manhunt 2 isn't the problem. Manhunt 2 IS exactly what it looks like. Parents can judge this game by its cover and then move along -- nothing you want your kids to see here. That's why I found the "Save the Children" reaction from the mainstream press, parents groups like the Parents Television Council, Parents for an Ad Free Childhood, and -- disappointingly -- Common Sense Media, so very frustrating.