Games for Lunch: Mario Party DS

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This review features guest commentary from my friend and co-player Bruce.

0:01 After a few minutes spent trying to find a second working DS (borrowed from Bruce's fiance, Lauren), it's on to the super-happy fun intro screen!

0:02 Downloading data to the second DS takes up almost all of this minute.

0:03 And we're loaded. Party mode! I suggest tag battle, a two-vs.-two cooperative mode. "That's cool," says Bruce. We're Mario and Luigi ("Old buddies" says the game) vs. Wario and Waluigi ("Bad boys").

0:04 We choose to play on the Toadette's Music Room board, because we are secure in our masculinity. Shut up! I said we're SECURE, damnit!

0:05 Another minute or so spent transferring data and it's time to party!

0:06 Already things seems faster-paced than previous Mario Parties. The Nintendo 64-era 3-D graphics are a little off-putting. I land on a space that gives five coins to me and five to Wario. "What good friends you are," the game says. Gag.

0:09 The first mini-game is a simple, isometric, platform-jumping affair with blocks that frequently fade into the darkness. We both fall off pretty quickly. Still, I like the style. The graphics look a lot better in this zoomed out, fixed-camera view.

0:11 Having the map on the top screen is actually very convenient for this game, especially when picking which direction to go on the board. Whoa!

0:13 We dominate on a game that involves placing platforms to get coins. The stylus is used well here, but it's hard to tell what will happen when you bump into the other characters. Everyone keeps getting in my way.

0:14 Stars only cost five coins? And they give away those coins like candy.

0:15 It seems the star cost goes up after the first... 10 for #2, 15 for #3. Still, Wario can easily afford to buy two in one turn, thanks to some lucky rolls and star placement. This is why I hate Mario Party... so much of it is just plain luck.

0:18 "Raft Riot" is pretty fun -- a super-drifty, super-bouncy racing game. Bruce wins the practice match, but I win the real one. He says he was "defending the house." Whatever.

0:19 Wario lands on a Bowser space. "Gimme equality," he says, equalizing the coin count for all players (much to our detriment). I knew it...Nintendo is a communist propaganda front.

0:23 Next mini-game is a three-card monte-style follow-the-card challenge, with a Mario twist, of course. The cards move incredibly fast. Seems like something that would fit in Vision Training.

0:25 After the long initial loads, the loading between turns is incredibly fast and barely noticeable.

0:27 A ball-rolling mini-game features some incredibly wonky/jerky stylus controls. It feels more like pushing a heavy block than rolling a ball.

0:28 We get 40 coins for being in last place with five turns to go. Wealth redistribution...more pinko agitprop!

0:29 Just as our team is about to get a star, Waluigi jumps ahead with a big roll to steal it away. "Stupid cheating game," points out Bruce.

0:30 Bruce gets challenged to a one-on-one duel with the computer. I get to watch through two practices as the competitors try to escape form a volcano filling with lava (what an easily relatable situation!) Bruce is da winnah! Wait...that was another practice? GRAH! The real match ends in a tie.