Crispy Gamer


Th1s H4s 7o St0p! Sensible Game Numbering NOW!


People, people, people! Did we learn nothing from Driv3r? The conventional wisdom says that game recieved a critical drubbing because of a buggy engine, lackluster combat and ridiculous AI.

The Richard Garriott Interview: Bonus Material



The Crispy Gamer Survey and You - Yeah, You!


Taking this simple survey - which takes less than five minutes to complete - will enter you into a drawing to win Peggle: Dual Shot and Rhythm Heaven for the DS.  If you don't already have these great games this is a good opportunity to get them for free.

World's Greatest Videogame Toilets: Crispy Gamer



Our series of the World's Greatest Videogame Toilets has finally drawn to a close with today's Bonus Flush, 3D Realms' highly dubious Shadow Warrior. What I've learned from this series is that videogame toilet humor died out a long time ago. Today's virtual toilets are photorealistic but not a whole lot of fun. Then again, breaking toilets in real life is kind of a drag. See above.

Going Old-School with Nethack


"No! It's too strong! I ... oh, damn it, the f*cking troll killed Carbomb."

"What the hell are you talking about?" asks my wife Charlotte, who with a quick glance toward the little bed perched on our window-shelf can see that our cat, Carbomb, is still totally alive and sleeping peacefully.

"Oh," I say. "I set the game so that if I start with a pet cat, the cat's name is Carbomb."

"That's a game?"

The Most Inspirational Video Ever Made


The Crispy Gamer crew is working on a lot of cool projects this month. It's going to be an exhausting May, and with a stretch of gray weather lately in New York (where Crispy Gamer World HQ is located), conditions were ripe for office doldrums. A veritable powderkeg of low morale, if that makes sense, which it doesn't.

As a pre-emptive strike against the impending malaise, Scott Jones and I put together this inspirational video to end all inspirational videos. I thought I would share it with you so that you could view it any time you need a boost.

Gaming by the Numbers: Hours and Hours


"Gaming by the Numbers" is an occasional series examining the statistics that make up our gaming lives.

Number of hours it takes to become an expert at a specific task, according to Malcolm Gladwell's new book, Outliers: 10,000

The Apocalypse Is Nigh...


I'm fairly certain that of the Seven Signs of the Apocalypse, this is number four. (Swine Flu was number three.)

Kiss your loved ones goodbye, clutch your beloved DreamCast to your chest, you pathetic nerd, and close your eyes tight.

The end of days is nigh. Pestilence is upon the land! Repent now!

Breaking Bones with a Bone Club


You truly beat the life out of your enemies in Zeno Clash. An uppercut to the jaw sends them flying across a grassy field. It takes them a moment to get back up. While they're dazed, you can run up and kick them a few times for good measure.

I Killed Kyle


This is the fearsome Orland, weakened and about to recived a death blow at the hands of my Raptor. Be forewarned. Clan Beard does not easily forgive those who speak ill of Noby Noby Boy.


 FYI: I'm not a crazy person. Final Fantasy Tactics A2: Grimoire of the Rift really does name some of the random characters "Orland." 

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