Crispy Gamer

E3 2009 Aftermath: Marry, Screw, Kill?




My post-E3 schedule brought me to San Diego for a mini-vacation. After three days of running around to sit in front of a multitude of TV screens, a shared house on the beach with friends is the perfect antidote to pixel burnout. During dinner with my housemates, we started playing the Marry-Screw-Kill parlor game and each one of us drilled others with lists of names of people we’d assign the titular verbs to.
The first trio I got was a list of WWII political leaders: FDR, Stalin and Churchill. I said I’d marry FDR because the New Deal legislation showed he knew how to take care of others, I’d kill Churchill because he’d make an effective martyr and I’d screw Stalin and make him submit to oppression. Handclaps all around. I answered a few more (G.I. Joe/Transformers/He-Man and Zelda/Final Fantasy/Metroid among them) and my friends, thinking they were clever, ticked off the current generation of consoles. I offered that I’d kill the Wii, as I find most of the games churned for Wii insipid. The Xbox 360, I’d marry as it looks like the most stable and multifarious after its strong E3 press showing. Sony’s sleek console–with its powerful yet untapped potential–seemed best suited for tawdry carnal pleasures.

The more I think about E3 through the MSK lens, the more I feel that my snap decisions actually illustrate my feelings about the current crop of consoles. Of course, software can change these feelings so we’ll see if I feel the same way in six months.