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[Editor's note: Crispy Gamer does not condone emotional outbursts like the one at the end of this review. Tom Chick has been reprimanded and enrolled in an anger management seminar.]

Here's a strange brew. Combine collectible card games with board games for something that's equal parts randomness (the luck of the draw, die rolling) and strategy (deck building, territorial control). To further defy any pigeonholing, add in a stock market gimmick. Now present it all as a Japanese role-playing game so no one looking at the box would be any the wiser. Welcome to Culdcept. Oh yeah, go ahead and cram in a storyline in case anyone wants to know what a culdcept is or why dragon zombies are fighting spudmen. For the record, I couldn't tell you to save my life, but I can tell you the cut scenes that probably explain all that stuff are skippable.

Re-Culd

This latest version for the Xbox 360 is a follow-up to the 2003 PlayStation 2 title, which was nothing if not obscure. Call it a cult sensation for how few people played it, and for how much they loved it. The fans certainly weren't satisfying this particular jones anywhere else. The elevator pitch for Culdcept is "Monopoly meets Magic: The Gathering," which leads to one of two responses: "Huh?" or "Awesome!"

Apparently enough people had the second response to merit a sequel/update, hence Culdcept Saga. Unfortunately, almost nothing has been done to tidy up the sloppiness and confusion of the original game, which could be forgiven in a freshman effort at an unproven concept. You try mixing the gameplay equivalents of peanut butter with chocolate and see how right you can get it the first time.

Since this is the second game, the problems from the first time around should be resolved, or at least assayed. No such thing has happened. Instead, the developers at Omiya Soft seem to show contempt for their fans by slapping them in the face with the same horrible interface and the same messy design choices. Granted, they've added online multiplayer, and it's pretty sweet when your deck isn't hopelessly outmatched (a new blind mode gives players roughly equivalent pre-built decks), but if this were a gift horse, you could apply a certain maxim about looking it in the mouth. Considering you just shelled out 40 bucks, you have the right to expect more.

Through a glass narrowly

The problems are mostly interface issues. Although Culdcept borrows a lot of concepts from board gaming, it's missing the clarity you get in a board game, where all the info you need is laid out before you. There's no easy way to get an overview of Culdcept's board, and important information is pointlessly scattered among various screens and displays, which leads to a lot of paging around. It's like playing a board game by looking at it through a paper towel tube.

Furthermore, Culdcept can't be bothered to present important information at times you most need it. For instance, many cards rely on factors such as the number of territories of a particular color, or how many creatures have been killed over the course of the game, or whether one player has more cards in his deck. This sort of information is often unavailable, forcing you to play the cards blind. Then there's the fact that you're locked out of the detailed card text when you're actually playing the game, and you're locked out of all the online help entirely during a